Early Tuesday I woke up and put on a sweatshirt it was so godawful cold! I'm dreading winter already and it's only midsummer. WTF Mother Nature?
A few quotes from me to dwell on before Jack Frost truly arrives...
-Just once I'd like to see Mother Nature's ass make a snow angel.
-I imagine Mother Nature is Satan's redheaded stepchild so who the hell is Father Time?
-Soup is leftover bits from a real meal.
-Kill Jack Frost, keep warm weather alive!
-Where the fuck does Jack Frost live and who supplies his energy?
-Let's get Father Time's feelings on life before he ages us beyond recognition.
-Life would be sweet if we sent Mother Nature, Jack Frost and Father Time straight to hell! Let the devil deal with that shit!
Too fucking cold to think warm fuzzy thoughts about coming cold weather holidays, rotting pumpkins left by trick or treating folks, increased utility bills, shoveling snow, mud all over my car from poorly plowed and cared for highways, bare trees that were so freaking beautiful in spring and fall - Jesusfuckingchrist, I've depressed myself!
Wait, a chuckle slipped out as I thought: Let's put all dead leaves we rake in Mother Nature's yard along with every pothole we bang into throughout winter. See if that bitch can find a cute pair of gloves to keep her hateful fingers warm as she cleans that shit up!
And I was too damn cold to get up and do this on Tuesday as I stayed buried under covers and in flannel pj's!
Growl and roar-it's okay to let the beast out. - J. Hali Steele